How I met my husband!

Birthing a healthy kingdom marriage.

Author

Ugonne Ann Okonkwo
May 24, 2023

Guess how old this picture is?

Him- So what’s your name

Me – UgoNNE

Him- And I’m ObiNNA.

So we’ll both be called “NNENNA”… Lmao

Cheesy! I know...but I had no idea at that moment that this fine, black man with perfect teeth, sitting shirtless at the booth of an old Mercedes car will be the father of my children. My ovaries didn't care to alert me. At the time, he was just my neighbor. A sweet and caring neighbor who cooks the best stew and dishes out the soundest counsel you’ll ever hear about relationships.

And that was all Dr. Isaac was to me. I didn’t feel any type of way for him. I mean I was just 18 and a sage was not my idea of a cool boyfriend. I wanted the funky, jean-sagging, car-driving, club-going, sweet-talking, charismatic fella who will buy me shawarma by day and dance with me at night and Isaac was almost the exact opposite.

He’s reserved and very mature. He was often neatly dressed and mostly formal. He didn’t have a car and would rather cook up a healthy meal than eat some junk food (till today) but we became friends and very good friends for that matter.

And then he grew on me. I found that Isaac was the one person I truly wanted in my life and he stayed. When I started to look and see him, I saw that this man loved me. Not the crude, limited understanding of love I had back in the day but something genuine and eternal.

True Love is Beautiful Warfare

True love is not merely your heart beating fast and the butterflies in your tummy. Sometimes, it's sacrifice, generosity, discomfort, and even death. It’s a cross journey that requires a laying down of one’s life in varying degrees. True love gives and my husband Isaac is such a giver. He's been the reason for many firsts in my life. He was the plug for my first cool phone (BlackBerry), my first flight (Aero contractors), my first personalized bible (I still have that NIV bible), and the first spiritual book I ever read (“David” by E.A Adeboye).

Of course, we've had our fair share of challenges and I almost gave up on us at some point but Isaac fought for us. He stood his ground on his convictions and continued to give. He gave time, resources, and heart. Even when he was away and we had to do long distance for two years, he stood by his word and continued to give.

Two boys and 9 years later and I can tell you for free that he's still committed. We both are but our fight is different now. To intentionally build a healthy marriage is work and I dare say, warfare because the enemy is fully committed to destroying the marriage institution in our generation. There are days I feel like my husband is the best but there are other days too. Days that I say to myself, "Ugonne, who sent you here? What exactly did you agree to that day you said yes", "Nope, I didn't sign up for this s**t. Days that heaven is looking at me like "You see your life? ". Days that the enemy is selling his lies in my mind. Days that I'm being exposed and pruned because if there's one thing I'm getting convinced of with each passing day, it's that the goal of marriage is not always to make you happy but holy.

But Jesus said, “Not everyone is mature enough to live a married life. It requires a certain aptitude and grace. Marriage isn’t for everyone. Some, from birth seemingly, never give marriage a thought. Others never get asked—or accepted. And some decide not to get married for kingdom reasons. But if you’re capable of growing into the largeness of marriage, do it.”

Matthew 19: 11-12 MSG

Birthing a kingdom marriage in your home

This podcast will blow your mind

There is a certain level of growth, largeness, and maturity that marriage especially today requires and so we must be intentional. The enemy is on heavy attacks on marriages and families and we must learn to stop his tracks and advance the kingdom of God in our homes. The stakes and demands are high but God’s grace is sufficient. We can host the presence of God in our marriages. We can fight long-standing generational patterns. We can break away from negative mindsets and deep-seated conditioning that are not serving us. We can leverage the principles of the kingdom to enter into Eden-grade marriage and I have the perfect answer for you. I sat with Nike Folagbade, a Family Life Coach and Counsellor, who teaches and empowers both single and married people with godly and practical strategies on how to build a blossoming kingdom relationship and marriage. She has written over seven books including 'Get The Ring', 'Untold Secrets That Wreck Marriages', and THRIVE (a prayer confession and devotional, for manifesting a transformed marriage).

Nike was listed among the 2019 Edition of the 100 Most Inspiring Young People in Nigeria and she has been featured on media platforms like WeFM Nigeria, Core TV News, Channels TV, The Guardian, Galaxy TV, Punch, Business Day News, City FM, Radio Nigeria and others. She was also a relationship contributor on Bella Naija, Women of Rubies and She Leads Africa.

  • Do you want to understand your spouse better?

  • Do you have the blueprint for loving your spouse?

  • Do you want to understand the purpose of God for your marriage or future spouse? Then you have to listen to this podcast.

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Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting.

Ephesians 3 MSG

A SNEAK PEEK INTO MY MIND

🙇🙌 𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙄 𝙖𝙢 𝙜𝙧𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙛𝙪𝙡 𝙛𝙤𝙧

Sabbath.  I’m grateful that I get to have these beautiful conversations with my sisters especially this one happening on Wednesday. These ladies have cracked some deep codes that are essential for visionaries so join us tomorrow by 9 pm WAT to unpack all of it. I can’t wait.

📺📺 𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙄'𝙢 𝙬𝙖𝙩𝙘𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜

The Sound of Revival on YouTube. Kai. This meeting opened my eyes. I have come to understand even more clearly, the reason why “Japa” happened. God is so strategic and intentional. The global harvest is NOW and the army of the Lord is awake. My sister, enter formation if you're not aligned. These are the days of Elijah!

🎤🎼 𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙄'𝙢 𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤

Oghene do by Frank Edwards. Ahhhhh! This song is my Thanksgiving poem to Abba. Such a lovely piece of work. It’s an old but ageless song because there will always be something to thank God for. He’s so kind.

💃❤𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙄'𝙢 𝙨𝙪𝙥𝙚𝙧 𝙚𝙭𝙘𝙞𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩

The BV podcast is back. Yasssss! We have officially kicked off season 2 of the Birthing Visions podcast. This season has the most phenomenal visionaries coming to share their birth stories and more. You don't want to miss any episodes. Follow us on Instagram, and subscribe to the podcast on all platforms. Click here to listen to my welcome back episode


Finally, I want to ask for your help. Can you please share the podcast links and graphics with your community? I hope to reach 5000 women with the message of “birthing, vision, kingdom, & partnering with God” and this is how you can help me reach my goal. What a testimony it will be to see more women growing, changing, running with a compelling vision, and living their best lives! Will you do that for me? God bless you!

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